For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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