I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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