i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
