its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
