If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
