You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
