I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I checked into jail on foursquare
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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