The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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