I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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