Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
