I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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