I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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