She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
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