Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
