whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
