Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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