Sponge bath it is.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
