And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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