So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
