i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
