My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
