I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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