i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize