if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
