it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
