then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
