I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
