This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
