Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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