Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
