We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
