I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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