clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
