No awkward lesbian experiences without me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
