if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
