If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
In other news, I just burned my penis
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
