I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
