You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
