So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
