First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
