I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
