that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
