too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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