New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
