dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
