I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
