The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize