Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Where is the hickey?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
