i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
