: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
