he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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