Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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