Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
