So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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