Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I want to fling myself into the sun
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The air taste purple.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
