i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
