i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
